Motorbike Lunacy

Recently, various newspapers ran a photograph of me on a small motorcycle. They all pointed out that I hate motorbikes and that by riding one I had exposed myself as a hypocrite who should commit suicide immediately? Right, first things first. The motorbike is not like a car. It will not stand up when left to its own devices. So, when you are not riding it, it must be leant against a wall or a fence. I?m told some bikes come with footstools which can be lowered to keep them upright. But then you have to lift the bike onto this footstool, and that?s like trying to lift up an American?