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THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT...


I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven, and my free gift was a bank.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street, " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

And finally,

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


I normally don't post stuff like this, but with the current state of the stock market, it did make me laugh.:eyebrow:

Hi Mike:

This is so good it has to be tweeted :D

Wayne

Enjoyed every line! :)

Great joke!

What joke?????;)

The economy is so bad I still can't find two people willing to get off unemployment and work.

I spent the last two weeks trying to find two employees and what is calling me up and stopping in for interviews are pretty much un-hireable.

I can only work Tuesday - Thursday daylight shift because I need to find a husband and I need Friday to prepare for and Monday to recover from the weekend.

I can only work two or three days a week because I have a business under the table and I need a job for cover so I don't attract attention of the IRS.

Can you pay me under the table so I can keep collecting unemployment?

The only reason I'm sitting here for the interview is I only have three weeks left on my 99 weeks of unemployment. I can start in two weeks?

I can only take the job if it's a management position.

Where I'm working now, every one in management is clueless and no one will listen to me on how to run the place right.

I have two openings because my last hire thinks her boyfriend is going to be a millionaire so she could care less about coming to work. She told me she was willing to do anything to get him to marry her. Well last week I let her know her boyfriend is now her only job. I was tired of her not showing up for work on Saturdays and Monday mornings calling off with some BS excuse. She is drinking and hanging out at the Casino with the boyfriend to all hours, and can't get up for work.

The other position is due to one of employees meeting a guy on line that lives in Tucson and still living in the same house with his ex-wife. She sold her house and is moving there to be with him September 1st. :rolleyes:

The other position is due to one of employees meeting a guy on line that lives in Tucson and still living in the same house with his ex-wife. She sold her house and is moving there to be with him September 1st. :rolleyes:

There's nothing wrong with leaving a good job to move thousands of miles to live with a person you love. ;)

There's nothing wrong with leaving a good job to move thousands of miles to live with a person you love. ;)

Don't forget about the ex wife he is still living with. :0

KD