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Hey everyone, my name is Octavian, and I am kind of new to hypermiling. This is only my third post on the forum after being a member for about a month. I know I've been slacking in that department, but I don't really have that much time on my hands.
Anyways, I was thinking about this on my drive to work this morning, so I've decided to share it with you all. It is kind of directed at the flurry of negative articles aimed at hypermilers.

I am a hypermiler,
My lead foot has been replaced by a feather;
I drive at or below the speed limit (you can see me in the right lane)
Not tailgaiting in the left lane, hoping to arrive at my destination a few minutes earlier;
I coast TO not THROUGH stop signs;
I drive in neutral downhill;
I love to laugh at you after you race to a red light;
If I were a soccer mom, I would drive a Volvo wagon, not an Escalade;
Oh, and I understand you're mad at me for slowing you down some,
but despite what you think, I am a safer driver than you.

It sounded better in my head this morning, but I hope you guys enjoy it.

Cheers

i LIKE it.........much more civilized than what usually goes through my head in the morning :)

Laurie - My sharp eyes saw your new cutting edge avatar :D

oh yes I like the Ode Oc

We are all so bad or so AAA said
If we keep it up we will all be dead
as we work so hard to save fuel
the Conn. police are trying to be cruel
with such thoughts in there heads
I am sure roadblocks are being set up ahead

Laurie - My sharp eyes saw your new cutting edge avatar :D

oh yes I like the Ode Oc

and (finally) my sharp brain caught your pun............slow driver, slow mind.....:p

into traffic i do venture
hoping not to get a dent, sure
am glad that i drive slow
while all around me trucks do blow
no respect, as rodney said
by their noses they are led
along the path of speeding excess
they will surely end in wreckses

mighta started a phenomenon :)
shoulda made mine rhyme

Hi All:

___Oh my god the carnage and mayhem is going to be all over the highway now! If its not obeying the speed limits, holding legal following distances and RR’ing for safety, now it’s the “Hypermiling Poets Society” being unleashed onto an unsuspecting public. Its specific intent is to cause on disaster and destruction to those around them while obeying all traffic laws. Oh my, the humanity! What will the illegal speeders, tailgaters and those that do not use proper lane etiquette or signals do? Hurry, get your kids inside and lock the doors! Where is the AAA to save us now :D :D :D

___Good Luck

___Wayne

Hi All:

___Oh my god the carnage and mayhem is going to be all over the highway now! If its not obeying the speed limits, holding legal following distances and RR’ing for safety, now it’s the “Hypermiling Poets Society” being unleashed onto an unsuspecting public. Its specific intent is to cause on disaster and destruction to those around them while obeying all traffic laws. Oh my, the humanity! What will the illegal speeders, tailgaters and those that do not use proper lane etiquette or signals do? Hurry, get your kids inside and lock the doors! Where is the AAA to save us now :D :D :D

___Good Luck

___Wayne

watch out, wayne. a door has been opened that cannot be closed........:D

Hmmm a rhyming press release??? Might not be taken seriously though???

You have to be careful rimeing. Loretta Lynn was once crticized by a critic for rimeing "tard" (tired to folks unfamiliar with the south) with "hard". but then who cares about critics.

To Hypermile is fuelish
to speed is foolish

While driving late on a summer night,
I can upon a terriblel sight
There on a hill were three blue Priui
such a view made me want to cry-y

Their owners had gone and let them sit
deep deep in huge piles of cowsh...t
I pulled up close and took a good look
just to be sure, and maybe I was mistook.

Indeed I was, and for goodness sake
there was a voice... from a snake?
"PSSST!" Said he in a very low tone
"Do you want to use my cell phone?"

"Call the AAA, call Fox, call them all!"
The very thought made my skin crawl...
I looked up I looked down I looked all around
And at my feet, there it was, on the ground.

A note, on paper so very tiny and kinda white,
"Hey, my Hummer is under all this ****e!
Now it became clear, that these old cars
were "Hummer" headstones under the stars.

Sung to the tune of Green Acres

Hypermiling is the thing to be,
Going fast is not for me.

Slow rolling is the life for me.

Roads stretching out so far and wide
Keep that speeding, just give me that pulse and glide.

No, the left lane is where I’d rather stay
I get impatient driving all day

I just adore a tailpipe view
Darling I love you but give me a Hummer, too

The snores,
The roars,

No bears
Flying hair

You are my wife,
Goodbye driving strife

Hypermiling we are there.