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Jerk of The Day

http://www.cleanmpg.com/photos/data/500/asscar.jpg
...because every jerk thinks they are...Special!


Sighted by: lamebums
Vehicle: Unknown import tuner/ricer
Place: Fort Thomas, KY
Date: March 31, 2008, 11:00 PM

I was just going along on I-471 south near Fort Thomas minding my own business when this jerk got right up behind me. I'd just climbed to the top of a three mile hill (I reckon 5% grade) and I was doing about 50 or so at the time. With two empty lanes on the left, this guy with his bigassed spoiler and lowered chassis decides to NASCAR it up, getting to within a quarter second of my bumper. When I don't accelerate he begins angrily flashing the brights on and off which just irritates me - I coast down to 45, he responds by leaving his brights on. So I then get on the brakes down to 35 and show him the driver's salute which forces him to back off, since hey, tailgating isn't safe, and this guy's got two open lanes on his left anyway.

The guy eventually gets the hint, guns his engine, fart can blazing, cuts to the left and then across within inches of my front bumper for no reason. I got this picture just when he backed off to gun it. (The tow truck on the right side was doing regular speed whereas the ricer and I were doing ~35).

I really wish I could invent a device to "un-rice" all the cars out on the road today.

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(My Paint skills are woefully lacking, and I don't think I have the correct font installed on my computer to add in "Jerk of the Day" or the little finger logo. Can someone else do this? Thanks.)

Now there's a jerk - unsafe driver who's probably wasting a lot of gas too.

Why can't they stay out of the FAS lane.

Why can't they stay out of the FAS lane.

I like that!! I may appropriate that, if you don't mind? :)

This reminds me sooo much of a Civic or Acura a couple of years ago riding my butt too close...when he was about to do the FU left pass, he turned so hard that he semi spun left, then back right - saloming four lanes and almost hit the wall.

Speaking of Fas in fact, that is a Fasable section of highway (I only Fas in the daytime though).

Pulse up to 55 at the top of the hill where the steel arch bridge is, and then you should be able to glide past the Southgate exit across the bridge and down to the bottom of the hill where the 275 sign is. You'll still be doing at least 45.

This morning, I timed 2 glides to leave tailgaters at a red light that I coasted through on yellow! :Banane27: Am I bad?

Ok, I know I'm bad - but, I kinda don't care!

I don't think most drivers understand the concept of FAS on the right and FAST on the left...

ellen you are stomping all over the epa with that mileage :D. couldnt help but notice.

ellen you are stomping all over the epa with that mileage :D. couldnt help but notice.

Thanks for noticing! I'm still not sure that is for real . . . I had my oil changed on Tuesday and the mpg read out has had swings since then. Granted, the swings are getting closer and closer each together each segment but PRE oil change my mpg was 23.7 STEADY. Seems like a pretty big boost to me - the oil change was 'early' according to my manual (11K miles instead of the recommended 15K). The oil change light came on indicating "4% oil life - change soon" so I did.

Whatever it is - I'm not complaining! I've just been implementing techniques that are tolerable to other drivers . . . nothing to get me shot at. I do more when there's no one behind me. I know, I'm a coward!

This morning, I timed 2 glides to leave tailgaters at a red light that I coasted through on yellow! :Banane27: Am I bad?

Ok, I know I'm bad - but, I kinda don't care!

I like doing this too :D I also on occasion make people yield right-of-way when they are entering the freeway and try to force me over a lane :)

Yes, I too will time a stoplight to rid myself of the occasional tailgater. Works like a charm. And i like the comment about the F.A.S. lane. : )

Yes, I too will time a stoplight to rid myself of the occasional tailgater. Works like a charm. And i like the comment about the F.A.S. lane. : )

That doesn't always work though, especially if the tailgater's too aggressive. I've ran it to make a yellow, been a second late, and the tailgater behind me is still riding my butt (way more than a second late). :(

That doesn't always work though, especially if the tailgater's too aggressive. I've ran it to make a yellow, been a second late, and the tailgater behind me is still riding my butt (way more than a second late). :(

The trick is to tap your brake so, that they think you are stopping - but, then coast on through. :p

The trick is to tap your brake so, that they think you are stopping - but, then coast on through. :p

But the brake is your enemy. You use brakes to quickly dissipate energy that you spent gasoline to achieve.

And thus begins the big battle in my head. The great dilemma. Do I brake check to throw off a tailgater, throwing away expensive gasoline in the process? :(

But the brake is your enemy. You use brakes to quickly dissipate energy that you spent gasoline to achieve.

And thus begins the big battle in my head. The great dilemma. Do I brake check to throw off a tailgater, throwing away expensive gasoline in the process? :(

Perhaps you should talk to hobbit about getting a "yuppie button" installed.

As far as I understand it, the first slight movement of the brake petal will turn the lights on, but they won't engage until you press down slightly more. So it may be useful for helping people realize you're going slow.

But the brake is your enemy. You use brakes to quickly dissipate energy that you spent gasoline to achieve.

And thus begins the big battle in my head. The great dilemma. Do I brake check to throw off a tailgater, throwing away expensive gasoline in the process? :(
An intense, rear-facing light will usually clear people off your bumper at night. I put in a rear foglight and it does a very good job, even at only 20W.