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View Full Version : FAA upset at fuel saving attempts


kwj
08-15-2008, 02:24 PM
Perhaps you've read reports of airlines trying to save fuel, due to revenue losses caused by high fuel prices.

The Federal Aviation Association (FAA) reports that some of the techniques that pilots are using to save fuel are extremely dangerous; things like following too closely to other airplanes, rolling through mandated stops on airport taxiways, landing without brakes, and overpressurizing their tires, all just to save a few pennies.

One of the most dangerous things some pilots are doing, is dropping altitude with the engines in idle, says FAA expert Mickey "Mus" Musculus at the Orlando headquarters. With their engines in idle it could take precious seconds to get the engines back to enough power to prevent an accident. It's just irresponsible Mr. Musculus said.

It has been reported that some airline pilots have been instructed to turn off their engines if they are going to be delayed for takeoff. Mr. Musculus says the FAA has no specific regulation against this practice, but that the passengers would be in jeopardy because all auxiliary power would be lost. He requests that any passengers contact the FAA if their pilots try such tactics to save fuel.

Donald Anatidae, A spokesman for the web site CleanKerosene.com (also in Orlando) says his organization supports hyperplaning techniques such as those, except for drafting and coasting through taxiway stops. Mr. Anatidae says filling the tires to Max Sidewall saves fuel during takeoffs by minimizing rolling resistance, although it makes for a rougher touchdown. And remember that most planes try to take off fully loaded, but land at a lighter weight.

Minnie Muridae, an expert with the American Pilot's Administration (APA) claims that to save even more fuel, some pilots are taking off with a short load of fuel, because they use a technique called Pulse & Glide, wherein they climb to max altitude, turn off their engines, coast to a preset lower altitude, and use the gained speed to "bump" start their engines. Then they repeat the cycle. Muridae says it promises to save almost 50% of the typical fuel for a given route.

Musculus of the FAA, says they'd better not get caught because coasting down inclines, at idle, is illegal in the airspace of most states, as is flying so slowly as to be in the way of faster planes.

Right Lane Cruiser
08-15-2008, 02:34 PM
LOL!!!!

:D

Thanks, Kent -- that was fun! :D

SlowHands
08-15-2008, 02:40 PM
What Sean said... you had me for quite a while, I must be gullible today!

Chuck
08-15-2008, 02:45 PM
Wait until Obama suggests they check cabin pressure.

PaleMelanesian
08-15-2008, 02:47 PM
But that's obvious. Everyone knows that.

What we really need is to build more airports in Alaska and floating in the Gulf of Mexico.

laurieaw
08-15-2008, 02:51 PM
bwaaaaaaahahahahaha

kwj
08-15-2008, 02:59 PM
You guys are too quick:
FAA = Federal Aviation ADMINISTRATION,
Mickey "Mus" Musculus = Mickey Mouse,
Donald Anatidae = Donald Duck,
Minnie Muridae = Minnie Mouse,
APA = American Pilot's ASSOCIATION.

azraelswrd
08-15-2008, 06:39 PM
Hee hee, I smelled something fishy in that first paragraph ... "following too closely"? :D

Tochatihu
08-16-2008, 12:22 AM
You moved FAA from OK city to Orlando. Thanks for the laugh.

The big birds fly on 180 psi tires, so leave your bicycle pump at home :)

DAS



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