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St. Peter: "Methuselah, what took you so long to get here?"

Methuselah: "I was a hypermiler."

Reminds me of a 70's bumpersticker: "Speed on Bro - Hell Ain't Half Full"

Two guys in heaven. One guy who just got to heaven says, "This is awesome. I can't believe it. It's incredible." The other guy says, "Yea, you could have been here 10 years ago if you wouldn't have quit speeding".