Jerk(s) of the Day 6/28/2008

Discussion in 'Hero and Jerk of the Day' started by ascribe2thelord, Jun 29, 2008.

  1. ascribe2thelord

    ascribe2thelord Recreational Hypermiler

    I won't identify either of these JERKS, but I'll say that Jerk #1 drives a late 1990s blue mid-size SUV and the way he drives, he probably either a.) is spending his entire paycheck on gas or b.) has his parents pay for it. Jerk #2 is as creepy as Charles Manson, but at least he drives a compact that gets good gas mileage.

    Jerk #1 was holding back a line of cars because he was in the left lane and wanted to turn right across a lane of traffic into a Home Depot (name of store changed). I didn't realize this and thought he was being polite to someone who was turning left into the same store. See, I was assuming the best.

    Then I noticed how he wasn't moving. I took the opportunity to turn right in front of him. Suddenly he honks his horn at me and accelerates like mad at me. He then notices my left blinker turned on (I was about to get onto the freeway) and floors it to get ahead of me, blocking my way once I got to the light until the next light turned green and a few dozen cars impeded me from turning left. He then floors it again and stops cold at the next light.

    Oh, and I left something out! While he was holding me up, he made a gesture to demonstrate the smallness of his Vice President. As I was wondering why on earth he chose to reveal his embarrassing secret to me, I was shocked to find another car, driven by Jerk #2, trying to turn left BEHIND ME. Cutting in line ... maybe he saw my bumper sticker saying how slow I drive.

    Needless to say I was afraid for his safety and turned in front of him, shielding him from the oncoming traffic with my car. He followed me for about two miles after that. I got a bit worried, thinking he was going to follow me home and jump me for getting in his way. Having heard about an incident where a girl had been shot gangster-style in Columbia by a person driving in the lane beside her family's car, my feeling of anticipation grew as he slowly pulled up next to me, as if to pass. I slammed on my brakes, causing other cars to have to swerve to avoid me. Jerk #2 took the next exit ahead of me, and I continued on my way.

    Moral of the story ... if someone cuts you off and you have anger management problems, please refrain from showing the entire world your age / Vice President size. Really man, I feel sorry for you, but that's a bit TMI.

    ---end of rant---
  2. brick

    brick Answers to "that guy."

    Yup, this confirm that you drive in Columbia. But before you get too upset, I have to say that I like driving here a whole lot better than I liked Connecticut! The people here are less aggressive. :confused: (Translation: be afraid.)
  3. ascribe2thelord

    ascribe2thelord Recreational Hypermiler

    Gee, what's Connecticut like?
  4. brick

    brick Answers to "that guy."

    Insane. I'm not what you would call "extreme" about my hypermiling but I do like to do some things like driving the speed limit, stopping at stop signs, going slow through school zones, and waiting for traffic to clear before making a left turn across two oncoming lanes. Those things are not allowed in CT. If you drive slow through a school zone or past a bus stop full of kids, you get high beams and a one-finger salute. Obey a residential speed limit in the absence of kids and you get passed illegally. Same if you drive 5 over. Stop at a stop sign, you get a horn or, at least, a scare as you almost get rear-ended. And the whole thing about not diving across traffic is the worst offense of all. Kid you not, I once had a guy lean on the horn, stick his head out the window, and yell that I must be "F@$$ing stupid!" because I have this idiotic notion that getting broadsided is bad. The correct maneuver is to edge in half a lane at a time to make them swerve, then stop so that you can get across. They honk too but only because that's the sociable thing to do.

    Columbia drivers are a bit clueless, but driving here is like a vacation compared to that crap. I'd rather walk barefoot down Two Notch Rd. from Sandhill to Bull St. in August than go back to commuting in Hartford.

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